How Should Couples Split Expenses?

In any partnership, things are rarely 50/50. One partner might have more responsibilities around the house, while the other partner may spend longer hours at the office. Maybe one partner earns a higher income than the other—or one partner comes into the relationship with more student loans to pay off.

All of these differences can make it complicated to split expenses as a couple. After all, many of us see our finances as a personal, private matter. But, in order to navigate day-to-day finances, a teamwork approach is key. This means open communication, honest discussions, and shared trust.

Below, we’ve outlined three common scenarios couples face when trying to split expenses, along with creative ways to keep things “even steven”—including how to structure joint and separate accounts, how to pay bills, and how to maintain an open dialogue.

But before we begin, it’s important to remember: there’s no one way to manage finances correctly. It’s important to take all factors into consideration and keep in mind that your approach may evolve over the course of a relationship. Now let’s dive into the scenarios.

Scenario #1: One Breadwinner

Households with one breadwinner are nothing out of the ordinary. You might have even grown up in a home where one parent goes to work each day while the other parent stays home to take care of the kids and manage day-to-day household tasks. A one-breadwinner situation can also be temporary if one partner is between jobs or out of work due to illness or injury.

In this scenario, it doesn’t make sense to split expenses 50/50 because only one partner is earning an income. The following steps can help households with one breadwinner handle expenses fairly and efficiently.

1. Create a budget together.

Both partners should work together on a budget. After all, the earning partner has a good understanding of how much money is coming in each month, while the stay-at-home partner may have a deeper insight into the day-to-day expenses around the home. Both perspectives are needed when building a budget.

2. Divide up regular financial tasks.

Just because one partner is bringing in money doesn’t mean only one partner should handle the finances. Perhaps the partner who stays at home can handle bill payments or keep track of budgeting. This ensures both partners have a sense of ownership over the household’s financial hygiene.

3. Assign worth to household tasks.

It can be difficult for both partners to feel their work is equally valued when only one person is receiving an actual paycheck. The partner who stays at home is most likely completing essential housekeeping and childcare tasks, yet might not be being recognized monetarily for their contributions, making it hard for them to save or spend “their own” money, without having to ask the breadwinner first. By researching the going rate of tasks like housekeeping or childcare, and factoring a comparable amount into the stay-at-home partner’s “pay,” an innovative way to give the stay-at-home partner some spending and saving autonomy, would be to “pay” the stay-at-home partner on a weekly or monthly basis. The partner then has their own account, building their value and their feeling of contribution to the home.

4. Decide on your bank account structure.

Once you have a sense of who is handling which financial tasks, it’s time to arrange your accounts so that these tasks can be handled easily. Choosing joint accounts is simple and offers both partners some visibility into the financial situation. Or maybe you keep separate accounts but have a joint credit card for groceries and other day-to-day household expenses.

5. Reach an agreement on spending.

You’ll need to answer some important questions around daily spending. For instance, you might decide you don’t need to run every $5 coffee purchase by each other—but maybe the income-earning partner does want to know about purchases over, say, $100. It’s better to agree on these upfront—and avoid awkward discussions while reading over the monthly credit statement.

6. Maintain an open dialogue.

Being able to have calm, productive discussions about finances is key to any partnership. Regular, judgment-free conversations ensure both partners feel heard and appreciated. After all, the way you decide to split expenses isn’t set in stone and will change as your financial situation evolves.

Scenario #2: One Partner Earns More Money

It’s rare for both partners in a relationship to make the exact same amount. For instance, one partner may be further along in their career and have a higher salary. Or perhaps one partner is working full-time while the other works part-time as they complete their degree. Regardless of the reason, the principles of open communication and joint involvement still hold.

Once again, splitting expenses 50/50 might not make sense when one partner is making more than the other. The following steps can help you settle on a fair division of expenses that allows for a timely, efficient handling of bills.

1. Decide how to structure your bank accounts.

As mentioned above, choosing a joint bank account has the advantage of simplicity, as all income and expenses are going in and out of one account. But separate accounts may be preferable for couples who value some level of autonomy. You’ll just need a process for paying bills. For instance, maybe one partner pays utility bills from their account, then the other partner compensates them with their share over Venmo or Zelle. A hybrid approach could make things easier, with a joint checking account for major shared expenses, then separate savings accounts for each partner.

2. Agree on each partner’s financial responsibility.

Once you have your accounts set, it’s time to figure out how much each partner will contribute to rent, bills, and other expenses. Here are a few common strategies:

• Split expenses proportionally: For instance, if one partner makes 70% of the income, they then handle 70% of the expenses, while the other partner shoulders 30% of the expenses.
• Keep it completely even: Different partners may have different savings goals. The partner earning more may value financial security and want to save more, and prefer to spend more thriftily. This can work in both parties’ favor: the partner earning less might not mind that their partner is saving more. If you have a shared goal to buy a home together, future savings could go toward a future down payment, benefiting both individuals.
• Split evenly but one partner handles more discretionary expenses: Maybe the partner with a higher salary can pay for streaming subscriptions or the occasional meal out—but the big things like rent and utilities are still split down the middle. This allows couples to review more “fixed” expenses upfront, and agree to what they can afford to pay prior to taking on the expense, sparking productive conversation in the process.

For example, Mike and Julie are looking to move into their first apartment together. Julie earns more than Mike, and when Mike shares what he can afford to pay for monthly rent, Julie agrees… until they go apartment shopping. She realizes, that for $100 more than what Mike can afford, they can rent an apartment with a balcony. While they had agreed to a set amount, Julie is willing to chip in $100 more each month in order for both of them to enjoy the balcony.

• Each partner puts 50% of their take-home pay into a joint account: Thinking in terms of percentages instead of dollar amounts is key. Out of this joint account, you can pay your main shared expenses, like rent, groceries, gym memberships, etc. You can also see this as the account where you’re saving for shared goals, like a down payment. The other 50% of your income goes into your personal accounts and covers expenses that don’t involve both partners.
• Split expenses evenly, then separately keep anything left over: This applies mainly to couples where both partners are high earners. Even if one makes more than the other, you both make enough to safely handle expenses. Go over your budget, divide up expenses evenly, then the rest goes into your separate savings accounts.
• Split evenly but make up the difference in housework: Sometimes, a partner might make more due to a more demanding, time-intensive job. While you might decide to pay the same amount of expenses, the partner who works fewer hours might agree to handle more household tasks and errands.

3. Check in periodically.

People’s financial situations are rarely static. Be open to adjusting your arrangement if one partner gets a raise, or if another partner temporarily loses income. These financial conversations are especially important if one or both partners is in a more volatile profession. For instance, one partner might be a freelancer whose income ebbs and flows on a monthly basis.

Scenario #3: One Partner Has More Savings

Present-day income is only one facet of a person’s financial situation. The amount of money each partner has in savings can vary significantly—and should be considered when dividing up expenses. For example, maybe one partner has been working longer and has more cash saved. Or maybe one partner has been paying off student loans, which has slowed their ability to save.

Regardless of income, it might not feel fair to split expenses 50/50 if one partner has significantly less money saved. (On the flip side, it also may not feel fair to the saver to contribute more to shared expenses because of good saving habits.) A good first step is to discuss shared financial goals. For instance, if you want to eventually buy a house together, both partners have a shared investment in each others’ savings, regardless of who saved more. Your savings is one pooled store of value, where when combined, both individuals benefit from enjoying home ownership earlier in life.

As always, honest communication is key. If you go for the more qualitative approach, check in regularly. If one partner feels like they’re paying too much, it might be time to reset expectations and have an honest discussion about financial concerns and goals.

Teamwork makes the dream work!

There is no one perfect way to split expenses as a couple. You might have identical income and savings and still possess different long-term financial goals that complicate things. No matter the situation, a teamwork approach is vital. Establish common goals, then structure your financial habits and bank accounts accordingly.

Financial journeys can be full of twists and turns. But with a healthy dose of communication and plenty of trust, you and your partner will be ready to navigate it together.